Uncle Chainsaw The Terrifyer Hot Sauce Review

Uncle Chainsaw The Terrifyer

Note: I understand this sauce has gone through an evolution of sorts, as sauces sometimes do, and now uses Jalapenos rather than Fresnos. This review is for the Fresno version.

If Uncle Chainsaw keeps going like this, I’m going to haul off and add them to my favorite saucemakers list. They do a lot of things that speak to me directly, little intangibles, such as their label art being among my favorite of any sauce maker, the overall “heavy metal” vibe, the admonishment to keep refrigerated after opening, the use of bold text to highlight the ingredient list, which come directly after the nutritional facts, a lot of little things that isolated are perhaps less significant, but the devil is in the details, kids, and it all adds up. 

Perhaps my favorite thing is the seeming deliberateness of the ingredient selection. I thought their previous sauce, reviewed elsewhere here, was super impressive and well-thought out and this sauce, despite far fewer ingredients no less so. That sauce utilized Calabrians, one of my favorite peppers, and this one uses Fresnos, yet another of my favorite peppers. That this one is largely, for lack of better description, more of a Lousiana-style in looseness, at least, I was pretty pre-disposed to love it. That doesn’t mean I always will with sauces, of course, but it was pretty nicely teed up. 

I did and do love it, as it turns out. Fresnos can be a bit of a pain to come across, but for all that, I don’t understand why more sauce makers don’t use them. In a lot of ways, they’re kind of the ultimate cheat button to make a sauce nearly instantly taste better. Here, the sauce highlights that pepper. Garlic comes after the Fresnos in the ingredient list and in the flavor, as well, with a very nice grace afternote, unlike some sauces that treat garlic as a hammer with which to pound one’s taste buds. As it is a Fresno, heat is fairly minimal, but this is very much a flavor first mindset from this maker, yet another feather in the cap for them. 

The one minor issue I have here is with the looseness. As I’ve noted many times, sauce consistency can and will dramatically influence flexibility. The more runny a sauce is, the more that needs to be taken into consideration in terms of application. So, while I think a much thicker version of this would be borderline heaven on pizza, for instance, it is much too watery to work there. The purity of this sauce also means it will need to be agitated frequently. Think of it very much in terms of where you might use a Louisiana-style.

Bottom line: In a lot of ways, this is a celebration of the Fresno, where even the fruity nature of the pepper while shine though here and there, all in a quite wonderful and delicious setting.

Breakdown:

            Heat level: 1
            Flavor: 10
            Flexibility: 4
            Enjoyment to dollar factor: 10

Overall: 6

Hot Line Pineapple Paradise Hot Sauce Review

Hot Line Pineapple Paradise

I think of a lot of things when I consider the term “paradise.” A lot of people think of tropical beaches on distant islands, perhaps, places which I immediately think will be hot, sweltering, overly humid pseudo-swamps, but I presume they are meaning more of that idea that was heavily popularized in the 80s, thanks to stuff like the Magnum P.I. tv show and the Hawaiian Tourism Board. 

Point being that usually paradise is used to denote something really good and enjoyable and I’d imagine that was their other motivation for choosing this...while there are certainly tropical fruits in this, or at least one in particular, that being pineapple, I can’t say that the secondary definition I just mentioned would apply much here. I’ve mentioned it numerous times before in other reviews, but this is a very well-represented segment of the market, both the fruit-based sweet hots and in particular the tropical fruit-based sweet hots, many of which I’ve covered (see TOC at right). 

I’ve mentioned the two main approaches I think a hot sauce company can take if they decide to enter into that segment (see other reviews for those), but there is also a third, which is one this one does, and that is to put out what amounts to basically just another entry, kind of making a sauce just to have one, I suppose, as in we also have one of those, so to speak. 

While I love the name “Hot Line” and appreciate the use of a flask, that is where my admiration sort of ends. The consistency and color resemble applesauce a bit, which I find off-putting to a degree. Flavor-wise, this is very, very apple cider vinegar forward. If there is a taste, beyond onion-derivative, of course, that I wish not to find in a sauce, it is definitely that overused, overhyped, and generally disgustingly-flavored vinegar and it is unfortunately here in abundance. I get it, people buy the hype that it’s supposed healthy (a claim wholly unbacked by evidence) and people actually drink the shit, but I find it vile. Some sauces do a great job of having it not be prominent or, even more rarely, use it effectively, but I can’t say that is the case here. This does depend a bit on what you use it on, though, as I did have it on a few things where it was more a garlicky pineapple sort of vibe and the vinegar did not come overly to the fore.

This does become a problem in usage. With fruit-based sweet hots, you need to pair the fruit to whatever you’re using the sauce on. Depending on the fruit, this will inherently limit flexibility. When you have an external element in the sauce this prominent, you also need to pair the food with that as well. So, if you happen to like, say, pineapple on pizza, as I do, this is not a candidate for that, as the last thing I would want sullying up a nice good pie is the flavor or odor of stinky-foot vinegar. Heat-wise, it’s very modest, as it’s only Habanero and pretty far back in the mix.

Bottom line: For me, this sauce is not particularly representative of the segment it’s trying to enter, let alone a good example of it. If you somehow like apple cider vinegar, you may like it more.

Breakdown:

            Heat level: 1
            Flavor: 3
            Flexibility: 3
            Enjoyment to dollar factor: 0

Overall: 2

Infinity Sauces Barrel Aged Limited Edition Hot Sauce Review

Infinity Sauces Barrel Aged Limited Edition

This is one of those sauces that only comes around once in a while, the sort of special sauce that you try to make sure the food matches that quality of the sauce, so as not to waste any of it on inferior food items. This was limited to 350 bottles, to celebrate the 9th anniversary of the Heat Hot Sauce Shop, and I’m not sure how they could possibly recreate it exactly, given that there was a barrel that had whiskey in it for 4 years, then stout in it for another year, then the hot sauce itself for another year after that. 

My interest initially stemmed from the peaches, as I can just never seem to have enough fruit-based sweet hots, but the peaches, despite being one of the early ingredients in the list, don’t really show up much here as a main flavor component.  Same with the Habaneros, which impart a nice, soft heat to things. This is much more a composite sauce, with everything melding into a whole much greater than the sum of its parts, into a wonderful unity of deliciousness, with the myriad grace notes one might expect from the barrel treatment, along with the mustard and spices harmonizing well together. This is truly a beautiful, brilliant sauce, and I don’t mean so much the color, which is a very pleasant brown, but what this sauce emerged from its wooden chrysalis as.

It is very unique and I can’t think of anything quite like it, but it also has that intangible “it” quality to things, which comes along very rarely in ones lifetime at all, let alone in a condiment, but as it’s one of those “know it when you see it...or taste it, in this case” things, it is immediately set apart. When those things comes along, I feel one must take care to make sure they are enjoying it as much as they can, for when it’s gone, it will be nothing more than memories (and a blog entry and forthcoming video, at least for this one), which goes back to my earlier point. 

The flavor borders on indescribable, but peaches and mustard may not be what comes immediately to mind, in terms of pairing, and to be sure, this is more of a whole grain/stone ground mustard, I suspect, but here they mesh with the Habaneros and vinegar and whatever spices were cleverly chosen. This result, accordingly to the label, surpassed Infinity’s wildest expectations and I don’t doubt it. This is peak form, as far as flavor (it is slightly more watery than I would like) for this kind of process, storing a couple different boozes, followed up by a hot sauce, in a barrel. It won’t go with everything, so judiciousness in pairing is necessary, but the process of finding where it belong (start with fried foods) and the resulting elevation is a joy.

Bottom line: This kind of sauce comes the closest to transcending my rating system, as it kind of defies categorization. If you care at all about hot sauce, this is truly one for the ages and a must.

Breakdown:

            Heat level: 1
            Flavor: 10
            Flexibility: 3
            Enjoyment to dollar factor: 10

Overall: 6

Hot N' Saucy Beets N' Fresno Hot Sauce Review

Hot N' Saucy Beet N' Fresno

This is pretty close to what I had in mind when I initially picked up a hot sauce with beets as an ingredient. Beets are very forward in the mix, though oddly, they can run into pretty substantial flavor cancellation in the one area I really wanted this sauce for...namely, salads, and by that, I mean the green ones with lettuce and so on, not the mayo ones. I have a hard time with salads and if it doesn’t have eggs or beets, I struggle with being interested. I think beets generally are pretty undersung and the idea of using them in a hot sauce tickled me.

So, when I saw this on vaca, with its lovely fluorescent pink label, despite not being especially impressed by the other sauce I’d had from them, the one from the Hot Ones with Pepperoncini (see playlist at right), I didn’t hesitate at all. Not only did this feature one of my favorite pods, the Fresno, it additionally had beets first and seemed pretty straightforward with relatively few ingredients.

Indeed, this is almost a beet puree in terms of texture (so make sure to agitate thoroughly) and, perhaps to a degree, color, and everywhere that beets could go and would be good, so too for this sauce. I particularly enjoyed it on fried foods and, to a degree, on the salads, but I tried multiple salads with multiple dressings and oddly, only on the Caesar did the beets read through to any degree. Fortunately, the Fresnos did a very nice job, as they always do, on the flavor end...although, as they are also the only heat driver, this is a fairly tame sauce. Still, this bottle was the sauce I emptied by far the fastest this year and I definitely will be picking up more. 

Bottom line: If you are a beet enjoyer, you will find much to love about this sauce, as I did, but if you don’t, you can probably safely skip this one. 

Breakdown:

            Heat level: 1
            Flavor: 10
            Flexibility: 3
            Enjoyment to dollar factor: 10

Overall: 6

Dawson’s Zuzu 7-Pot Hot Sauce Review

Dawson’s Zuzu 7-Pot

Note: This sauce appears on Season 22 of The Hot Ones.

We shall start today’s musing with a sidetrack, namely, exactly what “Zuzu” is supposed to mean. I like to learn stuff and when I come across a word I don’t know, especially when used prominently, such as in a product name, for instance, on that of a hot sauce. So, I dove into the rabbit hole, as I could not identify it and found the reference is perhaps to a person’s name, as it was used in a movie, or maybe is a word for a flower, or a word for a fool or idiot in another language, and is maybe in reference to a god of wind, and also was the name, maybe still is, of a brand of ginger snap cookies, and finally, yet another reference to “sweet,” as in flavor.

All of them apply or maybe none of them, nothing really stands out as definitely applying. There is a light sweetness to this, but not really to the point where a word in place of sweet would come ahead of the pepper in the sauce name...at least not to me. The words fool and dumb and stupid and idiot have all been used in other sauce names before, but this is nowhere near scorching on that level. I don’t know why it would reference that particular movie or a god of wind, so this was not a successful rabbit hole dive in that I could not discover directly or definitively why this sauce might have that word attached to it.

That aside, this is another creamy sort of sauce, with a very smooth and silky mouth feel from the nice base of the red pepper, olive oil, and garlic, with a hint of sweetness from the maple syrup and the grace note of licorice from the Sambuca and fennel, which gets pretty readily blasted into bits under the furious bitter superhot notes of the 7-Pot. I don’t imagine the Ghosties are easing that too much, but the 7-Pots are much closer to the front of the line of ingredients and probably much more directly responsible. While I didn’t find it as hot as the show positioning, this sauce will definitely push non-chileheads considerably.

I do like this sauce, as I think it’s a really interesting idea, but I find it almost more a collection of grace notes than a single cohesive whole and, depending on where you use it, there can and often is flavor cancellation. I kind of wish they would have leaned into one flavor more than another, with my choice being a lot more of the red pepper. Fennel is a popular ingredient for sausage, particularly Italian sausage, but the red pepper base lends itself much more pointedly towards adding to a marinara. Indeed, this is one of the few sauces you can readily add to a red pasta sauce and have it work well as a welcome addition rather than a distraction. I didn’t mind it on pizza and chicken tendies, but truth be told, for both, I would have rather had a different sauce. It’s more a case of me viewing it favorably than loving it, but I do appreciate the novel approach, which I don’t remember anyone else ever attempting, which is why they get the push. 

Bottom line: Another inventive entry from one of the sauce makers whose approach and resulting sauces are nearly always unique. If you’re adventurous, both in punchy heat and in the idea of licorice in hot sauce, this is definitely one to take a look at.

Breakdown:

            Heat level: 2
            Flavor: 6
            Flexibility: 4
            Enjoyment to dollar factor: 6

Overall: 5

Woodstock Scotch Bonnet Hot Sauce Review

Woodstock Scotch Bonnet 

Sauces like these are always the most challenging to write, in that there’s not necessarily a lot to say about them. This one, with Scotch Bonnet and Habanero, as the main heat drivers, is fairly tame. Those peppers are also the main flavors as well, so if you’re looking for a thick-ish sauce that is very pepper forward in terms of flavor, with a sort of pronounced vinegar undercurrent, this would fit the bill nicely. It does have carrots and garlic listed as ingredients, but those are not really present to any great degree in the flavor. The sauce itself is a sort of yellow-light orangish color, so maybe the carrots were there to add something along those lines.

A couple things sort of stand out to me about the sauce. The first is that the odor of it threatens to put me off every time, though I do find the flavor to happily not be a match for the smell. I can’t quite put my finger on what the issue is there, but I don’t find it particularly pleasant. The second is that this has both xanthan gum and corn starch as thickeners and while it is still pourable, it is very reminiscent of a gel quality to me. I don’t particularly love that aspect, either. 

The sauce itself is a bit pedestrian and one-note and with the level of astringency, it’s best paired with something fried or where you might want it to hold in place and cut the richness, say potentially on a sub sandwich. I don’t see Scotch Bonnet showing up in sauces a great deal and when I saw this one didn’t also have onions, I got a bit excited, but this is another in a long line of Scotch Bonnet sauces that wind up a touch disappointing and more on the underwhelming side.

Bottom line: If you’re looking for a very pepper forward sauce, to sort of get a grasp on the Scotch Bonnet by way of Habanero flavor, backed with a good vinegar hit, this might be up your alley.  

Breakdown:

            Heat level: 1
            Flavor: 6
            Flexibility: 3
            Enjoyment to dollar factor: 3

Overall: 3