Hot Line Pineapple Paradise Hot Sauce Review

Hot Line Pineapple Paradise

I think of a lot of things when I consider the term “paradise.” A lot of people think of tropical beaches on distant islands, perhaps, places which I immediately think will be hot, sweltering, overly humid pseudo-swamps, but I presume they are meaning more of that idea that was heavily popularized in the 80s, thanks to stuff like the Magnum P.I. tv show and the Hawaiian Tourism Board. 

Point being that usually paradise is used to denote something really good and enjoyable and I’d imagine that was their other motivation for choosing this...while there are certainly tropical fruits in this, or at least one in particular, that being pineapple, I can’t say that the secondary definition I just mentioned would apply much here. I’ve mentioned it numerous times before in other reviews, but this is a very well-represented segment of the market, both the fruit-based sweet hots and in particular the tropical fruit-based sweet hots, many of which I’ve covered (see TOC at right). 

I’ve mentioned the two main approaches I think a hot sauce company can take if they decide to enter into that segment (see other reviews for those), but there is also a third, which is one this one does, and that is to put out what amounts to basically just another entry, kind of making a sauce just to have one, I suppose, as in we also have one of those, so to speak. 

While I love the name “Hot Line” and appreciate the use of a flask, that is where my admiration sort of ends. The consistency and color resemble applesauce a bit, which I find off-putting to a degree. Flavor-wise, this is very, very apple cider vinegar forward. If there is a taste, beyond onion-derivative, of course, that I wish not to find in a sauce, it is definitely that overused, overhyped, and generally disgustingly-flavored vinegar and it is unfortunately here in abundance. I get it, people buy the hype that it’s supposed healthy (a claim wholly unbacked by evidence) and people actually drink the shit, but I find it vile. Some sauces do a great job of having it not be prominent or, even more rarely, use it effectively, but I can’t say that is the case here. This does depend a bit on what you use it on, though, as I did have it on a few things where it was more a garlicky pineapple sort of vibe and the vinegar did not come overly to the fore.

This does become a problem in usage. With fruit-based sweet hots, you need to pair the fruit to whatever you’re using the sauce on. Depending on the fruit, this will inherently limit flexibility. When you have an external element in the sauce this prominent, you also need to pair the food with that as well. So, if you happen to like, say, pineapple on pizza, as I do, this is not a candidate for that, as the last thing I would want sullying up a nice good pie is the flavor or odor of stinky-foot vinegar. Heat-wise, it’s very modest, as it’s only Habanero and pretty far back in the mix.

Bottom line: For me, this sauce is not particularly representative of the segment it’s trying to enter, let alone a good example of it. If you somehow like apple cider vinegar, you may like it more.

Breakdown:

            Heat level: 1
            Flavor: 3
            Flexibility: 3
            Enjoyment to dollar factor: 0

Overall: 2